


Sunsetter

by ChocoTacoTurtles



Category: Homestuck
Genre: And the fact that i only get inspiration at night, Depressed!Suicidal!Dave, I Blame Tumblr, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, I'm so sorry., M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Sburb, i wrote this at one in the morning, this is crap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 19:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7400107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocoTacoTurtles/pseuds/ChocoTacoTurtles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave sits with his feet swinging over the edge of his home. Even though it's not really the kind of house for sitting on the roof, he finds himself doing it quite a bit. Sometimes Dirk comes to sit with him. Sometimes it's Karkat and sometimes Rose, but it's never John and that is one of his seemingly infinite problems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunsetter

**Author's Note:**

> Wow this is gonna be awful. I literally finished homestuck yesterday so i only understand about %0.00001 percent of the ending. yay.

Dave sits with his feet swinging over the edge of his home. Even though it's not really the kind of house for sitting on the roof, he finds himself doing it quite a bit. Sometimes Dirk comes to sit with him. Sometimes it's Karkat and sometimes Rose, but it's never John and that is one of his seemingly infinite problems. And worst of all, said problems never seemed to leave. The list just piles up and up, a swarm of black thoughts across Dave's wounded mind. The same ones that never left his side before the whole Sburb thing started. He supposes that is one of the few good things that came out from Sburb. It kept him occupied, kept him moving. And at the end of the day, it made things easier for him because he didn't have time to think. He had to keep moving. But in and of itself it created more problems because he, being the time player, had seen not one but multiple different deaths and that is something that absolutely screws up your thinkpan in the most unimaginable ways. He has a feeling that everyone is a little bit screwed up from the session. But he also has a feeling that he has it the worst. 

There is a soft knock on the trap door that leads to the roof, and Dave turns around to see Dirk. "Hey." Dirk says. Dave nods back and gives a weak smile. "You've been thinking again." Dirk says. "And you haven't?" Dirk takes a seat next to his brother, but crosses his legs instead of swinging them over the edge. "You know what I mean." Dave just sighs, pushing himself up with his arms. "Are you sure you don't want me to move in?" Dirk asks for possibly the thousandth time. He asks the same question every day and Dave gives the same response every day. "When will you stop asking?" He complains. "When you say okay." Dirk replies. "It would be unfair to Jake. You two should be living together. Not you and me. I shouldn't screw up your life since I have some mental issues." Dirk rolls his eyes. "Jake already said he's okay with it." The sun has set half way through the trees, and the two find themselves at a loss for words. "You haven't thought-" Dirk starts a sentence, but doesn't finish. "I do. I think about it all the time. How easy it would be to just jump and leave and never have to deal with all of this shit. But I wont do it. Not again. Besides, I wouldn't die 'cause it wouldn't be just or heroic. And even if it was, Jane'd just bring me back again like last time." Last time. Last time had been on the very same roof at the very same time. And the next morning, when John found him motionless on the ground, It had become the last day John had ever said something to Dave. It had also been the day that Karkat broke up with him, stating that it was just too much. That it wasn't either of their fault. It had been the day that two of the most important people on the planet, of it's small population, had left him. And perhaps the worst of it had been John since John was the only person Dave had every passionately loved. Perhaps the whole reason for dating Karkat in the first place was because of fear he would never see John. And perhaps after John's 'death' that had become true. But John came back as people always do in Sburb, so the whole relationship with Karkat had been deteriorating anyways. "Dave? Earth to Dave." Dave snaps out of his John trans quickly coming back to his senses. "Sorry." He mutters. "Dave. You need to come up with something. And soon." Dirk stresses. "Yes Dirk, I'm aware that I am a huge pain in literally everyone's ass but I can take care of myself."

"Really, then. When's the last time you've eaten?"

"Damn it. I."

"DAVE!" Dirk shouts at you. Dave shrugs his head forward. "Look. I've got dinner plans with Jake tonight, and I have to go. I'm moving in with you tomorrow, and there's nothing you can do."  
"But." Dave stammers, but it's no use. Dirk has already stood up, and walked to the exit, climbing down the ladder into Dave's living room. The sun is almost completely gone, leaving nothing but a red fire over the trees. 'Dinner plans with Jake.' Yeah right, that's what he said last time. Dave moves closer to the edge. They'd get over it eventually. He tells himself. No one needs you. You only bring people down. And as hard as it is to tell himself he's wrong, it is all but hard to go with the lies he tells himself. He can see the ground, and Dirk angrily exiting the house. He waits till his brother gets to the end of the street before he takes in one last breath and begins to push himself over. He wouldn't die. In fact, he could just die again and again every day like the guy from Groundhog's Day. Part of himself wonders if John has seen Groundhogs Day, and part of him tells him to shut up. You push lightly on your hands and begin to fall, but something stops you. A barrier, preventing you from moving. "DAVE!" Someone shouts, and Dave turns around. "DAVE FUCKING NO." It's a voice he hasn't heard in a while. But one he's all but upset to hear. "John?" Dave calls out weakly.

John's wearing a white t-shirt with green slime ghost on the front and a pair of jean shorts that come to mid knee. "Dave." He states again. He's close enough now that Dave can see tears welling up in his thick framed glasses. "What. What are you doing here?" Dave asks, shocked at the appearance of his long lost friend. "I came to apologize. It just. Every day that passed by I felt the need to come. And. Say something. Say sorry. But I never could. And here it is. Happening all over again." John's words are slurred together in the wrong places, and broken up in others. He takes off his glasses to wipe the tears off of his face with the back of his hands. "I don't want to loose you all over again." John says, and before Dave can process what's happening next, the blue-eyed boy wraps his arms around Dave and pulls him from the ledge. Two steps. Three steps. Four. Five. Six. Until they're back near the trap door which leads downwards into Dave's house. The sun has set now, leaving stars to drizzle the night sky with a milky white glow. "Well." Dave says, placing his arms gently around the shorter boy, who's still gripping Dave in a mad embrace. "If you're trying to prevent me from dying, it's not working 'cause I definitely can't breathe when you're hugging me this tight." John unwinds his arms from around Dave. "Sorry." He mutters, staring at his feet. "I just. Don't want to loose you all over again." The two stare at each other in silence for seconds before Dave pipes in. "Have you seen Groundhog's Day?" John shakes his head. Yes. Dave shrugs again. "Why don't you stay for a while. I'll make some food if your hungry?" The question is meant to be rhetorical, but John answers anyways. "I haven't eaten yet. Besides, we should catch up a little." He adds, but there isn't much to catch up on because Dave's life has literally been this every day until now. Deciding whether or not to jump. And whether or not it would count as heroic or just or a load of shit to be repeated again.

John pops the movie into the CD player as Dave heats up some leftovers he finds in the fridge that Rose brought over on her last visit. "So. I haven't talked to you in two months." John says, tapping out a rhythm on the CD player as he inserts the disk. Oh how Dave longed to hear him play. He'd only heard through video or through the phone back when Earth was an actual planet. "So you haven't." Dave says, looking at the boy through his shades, and leaning on the counter as he waits for the microwave. "Are you doing any better?" John asks. "Is that a fucking rhetorical question?" Dave asks rhetorically, "'Cause I literally just tried to kill myself." John sighs. "This is my fault. I should have been there for you. You're my best fucking friend, and I just left you to literally die."  
"Don't blame yourself. It's all hard."  
"And here we thought we'd be living the good life from finishing this game." John's crying again, and Dave can feel a rush of tears coming to his eyes as well. "Fuck Dave. I've missed you." The microwave beeps off halfway through John's sentence. Dave pulls the pasta out of the microwave, and fills two glasses with water. "This should be enough." Dave says. The younger boy just nods and walks over to the sofa, an plops down in one thud. Dave doesn't need to see his face to know he's still crying, so he makes his way over to the boy and sits on the opposite end of the sofa. The two eat silently, and watch the movie, John annotating his thoughts out loud through out the entire movie. 

As the movie finishes, and the screen rolls with credits, John makes plans to spend the night. "I'm gonna spend the night. I'll take the couch, but I'm not leaving you alone here." Dave, argues but after ten minutes finally gives in. It could be worse. It could be Dirk in all of his overprotective scheming. "I'll take the couch. You take my bed. It's only fitting since you're going out of your way to do this." Now John is the one arguing, but Dave insists. And seeing that some people can simply not be defeated, John shrugs off to Dave's room which, surprisingly, looks almost identical to his room from when he lived in Texas. "Night then Dave." John says, before he closes the door. "Night, Egbert." Dave replies. John walks to the twin sized bed and gets in. It's cozy, and warm, and John decides he likes Dave's room more than he likes his own. Or for that matter, he likes Dave better than himself. No, like would be an understatement. He loves Dave. He always has, even to the extent of saying he wasn't gay to get out of relationships with other people. He was reserving himself for an impossible relationship and the universe seemed to be against him, yet here he was. In Dave Strider's bed. And the day when John had been on his way to do some exploring, that he found Dave half dead on the sidewalk he hadn't known what to do with himself. He remained in a state of internal shock for two months returning to see Dave do almost the exact same thing again. But love, what a stubborn thing it is, that no matter how many times Dave would throw himself from that roof top, thinking he had nothing left to live for, John would still love him. Because love is insane, and extravagant and preposterous and terrifying. And all we can do, is go along with its strong coursing rivers. Convincing ourselves we know the ropes, and getting tangled up anyways. And all it takes is a matter of minutes before John is asleep.

It starts raining soon after eleven, which does not help with the nightmares that both boys have. And though John is pretty good at getting through his, someone screams in the middle of the night. It takes John no less than two seconds to process the voice. And no longer than two seconds to bolt out of the door and into the living room. "Dave?" He asks, looking at the other boy, who has propped himself up drenched in cold sweat. "John. You're alive." Dave says, panting. "Yeah. yeah. I'm here. I'm right here." Dave's eyes well up with tears, his glasses rest on the ottoman. John left his glasses in Dave's bedroom, but he can see well enough to know that the other boy is crying. "You're alive." Dave repeats, reaching a hand out and laying it on John's arm as to prove this fact. "Yes. Yes, I'm alive. Dave, what happened?" Dave still is completely deaf to John, only repeating the same thing under his breath over and over again. "They. Killed you. Made me. Watch. And I. Nevergotta say that-" Dave stops himself abruptly, and John is too panicked to notice. "You had a nightmare." He says, kneeling next to the taller boy. "Yeah." Dave muttered, finally coming to his senses and wiping sweat off his brow. John stands up. "I'll go get you some water so you can-"  
"No!" Dave shouts, trying to stand and failing drastically. "Don't. Leave. Just stay here." John nods, and accompanies the blonde, making room for himself on the floor. The rain still patters down outside, and a bolt of lightning illuminates the room for a split second. A split second that Dave can see the dark blue eyes of John Egbert "It's an ongoing thing." Dave begins, lying back down. "Every night it's a different person. Usually Dirk since I see him the most. Every night someone I love is killed in my dreams and I can't do anything about it. I've lost a lot of sleep because of it." John rubs his eyes slowly and nods, reaching for the dark silhouette of Dave. "Thanks, John." The taller says, rolling the words off of his mouth like they were precious gems. "I'd do anything for you, Dave. Because I-" There's a pause. And they both know what happens next, as John holds the words steady in his mouth. The three words he's meant to say for years. The three words Dave's wanted to hear for years. "I love you." Dave looks at John's dark silhouette with a loving glance. "Not just as friends. As. As more than that, Dave." Dave nods, though John can hardly see, and looks as if to think for a minute. Though Dave never doubted for a second he was in love with the dweeb. "I love you too John. As more than friends." He says. His voice still weak, and parched. John pushes himself so that his head is leveled with Dave's, and then he leans in to kiss. It's a short kiss and a graceful one. He plants it on Dave's dry lips and suddenly, the blonde's fears melt away as John rubs his tongue around Dave's lips, making him moan a small amount. Then, John demands, "Move over." And so Dave does, pulling himself to the side to make room for John. Though, there isn't much space, the two of them fit on the sofa well enough. John wraps his arms around Dave, and Dave around John as if it could combine them into one person, and John kisses Dave again. This time, more passionately and Dave kisses back feeling John, and knowing he's there. Dave's fiery kiss against John's mellow one. When the two finally pull away, and Dave muses slowly to the shorter, "Don't leave me again." And John whispers "I won't." Into Dave's ear before they fall asleep into each others arms.

At ten o'clock AM there's a rap at the door. At ten o'clock AM no one answers. At ten oh one, Dirk Strider lets himself into the house to find a mess of John and Dave asleep, in each others arms, on the sofa. "Damnit Dave." He mutters, making the two stir softly. "Heyyyyyy." John drags to Dirk. "Go home." Dave says. "Not until you explain." Dirk demands. John and Dave sit up, and John rests his head on Dave's shoulder. "John stayed over to make sure everything was alright. He promised he won't leave me." Dave said, cryptically. "So you can go home." He clarified. "Because I have John now. You can go home to your life, because I have someone to love me, and live mine with me." John smiles as if to agree, and Dirk shrugs, walking back out the way he came, and John plants another kiss on Dave's lips. "I promise I won't leave. Never again." He says, pressing his head to Dave's chest. And for the first time in seemingly forever, Dave smiles.


End file.
